I’m frightened to even attempt to touch those memories… The ones where I sat around after getting off of work getting progressively drunker and drunker until I’d eventually pass out or ride my bike to Del Taco. No future plans whatsoever, just a focusing on getting more and more wasted; slowly turning into this fatter version of myself.

Spending time out here reflecting on those actions from a far less substance induced perspective has almost made me side with you in your decision to have done what you did!

Ok. All self-reflection aside, I’m a fucking idiot. And I got the memo way too late. Now I’m grabbing for fucking straws when I had what I wanted all along. I swear I was dropped on my head.
It’s winter.