Four am and my brain's a whirlwind of negative thinking. Sobriety has afforded me a lot more time to dream. Every night is a little bit more of the subconcious I was trying to drown rising to the surface and draining out. Even after waking life still feels cloudy and out of place.


I try to picture the insane lifestlye you're living, and like two dolphins that always swam together, use some internal sonar to pin point where you are at this moment.

I've been feeling pretty empty lately. Whereas my focus was so strong on hate, resentment and spending the money I didn't have on the drink... I've now made the transition to cooking and working out. Too much time to think and skew the reality that I thought I was living in.

Picturing a life without you is damn near impossible. I know it's coming. I just keep telling myself it isn't. Postponing the healing.